Michael Magee
Double Sonnet for Grandma

This is a picture of Steve Jobs
made entirely out of a knife and walnuts
set to Quebecois fiddle music. Grandma is clearly training
for the Olympics by groveling and targeting banks for vandalism.
The only things I love are grandma and Hendrix.
The blankness behind the blue made my chest hurt.
I’m gonna have my grandma
sing something, but I want it to be a short snippit —
kinky shit like S&M and being tied
to the Splat-O-Sphere, which is basically like a miniature
Power Tower of frogs with external genitalia.
I got a pair for my grandma and she loves them.
ISN’T THAT RIGHT GRANDMA? I SAID ISN’T THAT RIGHT?
Clap for grandma.

Steve Jobs has a new slogan for shrimp dinners:
“Just looking at a pantload is a riot all on its own.”
One is a frog that sings, one is a pair
of bumble bees and one is a rattle filled with
five hundred tadpoles
as bowlingball pink as a Welsh teahouse.
A week ago I had an eyebrow hair that was,
no shit, two inches long
THIS is the shit that religion is supposed to deal with.
What if I took a shit in my brother’s pillowcase,
and when he came home, my eyelashes
declared war against my eyes? Sometimes, the world
is a marvelous place and miracles are Sephardic Godzillas
that sneeze and vomit frogs incessantly