Please Don’t Make Me Read Your Blog
I’d do anything
if I could have your love—
I’d give up strip poker
and my apricot facial scrubs
To see you smile I’d drink
30-day old egg nog.
But, please,
Don’t make me read your blog.
I’m sure your mother
said some cutting things to you
and that sweater you lent your girlfriend
is not going to walk back home to you.
But, please, please, please,
don¹t make me read your blog.
To spend some time with you
I’d try your ham bits stroganoff
and I’d clip my toenails—
at least the biggest one
To show you how much I care
I’d give up my homemade rum.
But, please,
Don’t make me read your blog.
I know the people you work with
say all these hilarious things
and your take on modern politics
has an unusual sting
But, please, please, please,
don't make me read your blog.